13th February 2017: Day 25 - I'm (A)live

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I’ve been on Facebook for probably 9 years now and it’s only been in the last year that I’ve been truly visible. I’m not talking about photos and such, that’s been my main use, to share photos with friends and family and also to check to see if there were any birthdays I should know about. I might like other people’s posts but I didn’t always comment. Last year I set up my page The New 5ifty, invited some of my friends to like the page and then hid it away, only to be seen by the odd stranger every once in a while. More recently, I’ve become a bit more open and visible. People know where I am in the world at any given time because I take lots of photos and share them with my friends.

When I was in Arizona in November, we had a couple of tutorials around posting videos and I had the opportunity to post live but had no data (Wi-Fi). One thing I got from that time was that it didn’t serve me to get bogged down in creating the perfect video, good enough was okay, and that gave me the courage to start posting things on my page.   I started posting little videos of myself in interesting places but I’ve never posted myself live – until today. Today I did my first Facebook live post.

I was going to do it on Saturday but then I realised that today is a special day. Today I’ve hit the halfway mark for this project. Day 25 of 50 days. I was nervous. More nervous than I thought I would be. Mainly because I thought I might say the wrong thing or not get the message I wanted to get across. I was surprised at how relaxed it felt; partly because of the people watching who sent words of encouragement and the likes and the hearts – it’s just as well I didn’t see a couple of the comments when I was live (you know who you are Farah) – but also because it feels like it’s just you talking to your phone.  It was so relaxing that I didn’t realise I was live for 7 minutes. I can see that my concerns weren’t completely unfounded because I did go on a bit, I only intended to be on for about 3 minutes.

As I write this I also reflect on the process of getting my blog going. I think I’ve said before how much I’ve wanted to get a blog going. Initially about my journey from unemployed and unsure of what to do, to (re)discovering my coaching skills and setting up a practice. As I approached 50 I got the idea of the name for my business, The New 50, and thought I would create a magazine or something, but again I stopped myself because my head said I had to have ALL the material together, ALL the ideas, EVERYTHING sorted and perfect before I even thought about starting. Of course, now I know this to be absolute rubbish. So, like with the videos, I gave myself permission for let good enough be good enough and here I am day 25.

What am I learning about myself? That my creativity knows no bounds, that when I let go things just flow, that I am good enough, more than good enough and I have a lot offer the world.  But I don’t think I’m special in that respect. We all have something to offer the world. We all have lots to offer the world and we know what it is, we just don’t give ourselves permission to be that person, especially if you’re someone who has had a lot of responsibilities or were told that life is not for being yourself. For those of us in our middle years, we can tell ourselves that it’s too late to do anything about it, but I’m living proof that it isn’t. Day by day I’m living more and more of the life I want to be living.  I said on my Facebook post that I always wanted to have a blog, that wasn’t strictly true, I have always wanted to write. To spend my time writing and sharing my thoughts and ideas and stories with the world and I’m doing it, I’m living it.

What about you? Is there something you’re yearning to do? Somewhere you’ve always wanted to go? A project you’ve always wanted to undertake or do you just want to re-connect with your authentic self.  If the answer is yes, then click here to send me a message and we can arrange an initial consultation.

Taiwo Dayo-Payne2 Comments